he wants to bone in the snuggie
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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