I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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