i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
me + whiskey = a bad person
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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