i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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