It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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