I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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