we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize