if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Randomize
