Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
