It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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