I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just found puke in my bra..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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