So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
