He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
