i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
