I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
