and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
honey bunches of taint.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
