so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
