that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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