Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
