Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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