Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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