idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
the liver wants what the liver wants
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
