Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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