FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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