You were right. It hurts to walk today.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You were trust falling into bushes
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
