Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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