Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
