angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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