i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
