It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
