i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
