Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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