I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
