i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
