It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The air was thick with penises
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
