Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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