She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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