my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
