I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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