There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
