I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I need water and some morals
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
