sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
