just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
