Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
