i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
