Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
