i jhust puked up my retainher.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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