you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
