I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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