please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The beer is more important than you right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
