Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I need a beard to bite.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
